Youth For Freedom, Lifeboat Simulation and Life.

So I learned some things this last week and had some amazing experiences. A lot of the things I learned are so simple and yet so huge that they've changed my life forever. Youth For Freedom is probably one of the best thing's I've done ever! So many things happened and so many things were taught that I don't even know how to say it all. I could sit here forever and write the longest blog post in the history of blogging and still not get everything out. But there is one thing that I want to talk about and share something I wrote about it. (Big surprise, I know. ;)) 

My session did this particular simulation wherein we cried, a lot. It's called the Lifeboat Simulation. You might just be familiar with it. It changed me. So here's the situation. We're on a ship and it's going down. There is one lifeboat that we can get out on, but there aren't enough seats for everyone. In this simulation there were 30 seats and 60 people. Half of us would have to stay behind. Four of my very best friends were there with me along with some really good friends I'd made that week. 

We chose a captain and he chose a first mate. The first mate is one of my many "brothers" and best friends. We were told that no matter what else happened the captain and first mate would stay on the ship. Putting yourself in a place where you know some of your best friends will die is not a happy place to be. :P The captain and first mate went around the room and asked each person if they wanted to live and why and if not we would give our seat to someone else. I was given a seat. (Yes, I'm still a little mad at her.) And I watched, cried and gave hugs as my best friends gave up their seats to each other or refused to accept a seat. 

Anyway, in the end we ended up finding ways to save everyone but the captain and first mate. (Bathtubs, helicopters, and the like.) This simulation really put me in a place where I had to think about my life. About who I am and who God wants me to be. I knew from the very beginning that I had to live. And life is hard. This thing I wrote is kinda about my feelings during the simulation. 

Remember that to live really does mean something.

I Lived Today 

I lived today. I lived because a person cares about me. So much so, they were fully willing to give their life for me. Yes, they would die for me. I watched the tears of love roll down their face for me and for so many others. Tears of total love; not fear. Not one drop was fearful. I watched my friends. My loved ones, give their lives for others. I watched as many of us agreed to live for others. For them. for ourselves. For our families. For the world.

I lived today because I have a purpose. A Mission. A reason to be here. I must help others. I must give second chances. I will teach. I will be a friend to all. I will live to smile, laugh and make others happy. I will live to be myself. 

I watched the tears stream down the faces of my friends and the face of my captain. I watched him weep for each one of us. I could feel his love for each person. He cares, he loves.

I accepted life. I chose to live the life that I’ve been given by a friend. I will take the breath within me and use it. I will not waste it. I still have things yet to do on this earth I have breath still yet inside of me. I will not spend it uselessly, for someone died to give it to me.

I sobbed. I let the tears fall. I cried for the ones who gave me breath. Who gave their life for mine. I now choose to do the hardest thing. I choose to live. I choose life. Breath. Purpose.

Death is easy. You will go to a place far, far better than this. But life. Life is harder. For with life you must live. But life is good. Breath is sweet. The living beating of your heart brings a swelling that cannot be stilled. Life is full of opposing forces. Things that lift you up and things that bring you down. But I can rise. No. I will rise. I will lift and I will bring the sweetness to others. 

I am lucky to be here. To be me. To be able to have this life so fully within me. 

Words cannot tell how I feel to be alive. To have a friend. A brother who would give his life for me and for my friends. There is a raging hope inside of me that I cannot quench. But yet, I am afraid. Not of death but of life. I am afraid I might not use his breath wise enough. That his death and tears will all be in vain. 

I cannot let that happen. Life is worth too much.

So I will shout it out! I will stand on the mountain tops, I will raise my hands to the sky and I will scream this out: I will live! I want life! I choose to smile and laugh and love. For, what if there is no tomorrow? 

I want to live!

- Missy, The Happy Friend

Our Brother died for us. Someone really did die so you could live forever. He is the reason to sing. He is the reason to live. He is my Savior and my King. My captain and my brother. Jesus Christ.