Writers Block

It's like an aching. An ever present ache that just grows stronger until it is no more. There is something inside of you just begging to get out. It causes you to toss and turn in the night, slip off into thought in the middle of a conversation or a bite. It seems as if your whole life and being depends on it, but there is no way to release it....

It will be your doom.

You begin to bang your head on inanimate objects. Bite your nails and pull your hair. You’re struggling, fighting a bloody battle that no one can see but you. It’s a little bit like Hell. And then one of two things happen. You win, or you lose.

If you lose the ache will never fully disappeared. There will always be this longing, searching sometimes screaming within you but it is easier to ignore than it ever was before. A sense of defeat is always near you and will never, ever leave. At almost every turn and nearly every moment there will be something that reminds you of the war you lost and the ache will return for only a moment.

You will catch the wiff of a spring flower or hear the rain pounding down on the roof above. You will feel the Autumn breeze as it gently floats around your face. You will feel the summer sun burning your skin as you hike along a once forbidden trail. You will taste the delectable hot cider as you watch the snow falling from your window. You will want to capture all of it and place it in a beautiful painting of black and white on a silver page.

But you won’t be able to.

No matter what you do you will always be stuck. You might learn to ignore it just a little. But it will never fully disappeared. There will always be that distant ache, reminding you of the war you couldn’t win. You might come back, try to paint with black and white. You might succeed at picking up your brush but in the end you’ll crumple up the silver page and walk away.

But what happens if you don’t crumple up the silver page but hold it high for all to see? What happens  if you do succeed? What happens if you win?

The ache will be released.

You will paint all over pages and pages of silver with black and white. You will create masterpiece after masterpiece. You will catch the Autumn breeze, the falling snow and hot sun. You will free the ache within you and you will also be free from the screams and nagging inside of you. There is nothing quite as refreshing as signing your name at the bottom of a page and sending it to the editor.

There is nothing quite like letting yourself be yourself.

So when all is lost. When the war seems to be lost. When all that stares back at you is a blank and empty page, keep fighting. Keep painting. Keep writing. There is no one in this world who can let the ache out of you but you. You are the one who knows what to say. Who knows the visions and dreams of those blank, silvery pages. Their mission cannot be complete unless you strive to develop and live yours.

So write. Win the war! Be yourself. Be the person who frees the ache no matter the cost. No matter the pain, the tears, the sleepless nights. When you have nowhere else to go, go to the pages within your mind that are overflowing and overwhelmed with ideas, people and stories waiting to be told by your fingers. Trust yourself. You know who you are. You know what you are capable of. It is time to doubt no longer. It is time to free the stories within your soul.

It is time to slay the Dragon.

So lift up your head. Put on your armor. Hold tight to your sword. The tides are changing and it’s time to ride the storm.

• Missy DeMille